The old barn ways that keep your cat safe and close to you.
Your cat is telling you things every day, and most of it goes right past you. Meanwhile, ordinary things under your sink and in your garage can poison her before you know it. This manual teaches you to read her the way a barn woman reads her cats, walks your house room by room for the dangers, and shows you how to care for her from her first night to her last, the old barn way.
Everything Your Cat Needs You to Know
One complete PDF: what your cat is telling you, the dangers in your house, pests and mice, the farmhouse kitchen, $5 fixes, and her whole life from kitten to old age.
- 142 chapters in 11 parts, 366 pages
- The Poison Walk-Through, room by room
- The Problem Finder: about 100 everyday problems, each pointed to its page
- 13 printable fridge cards
- Easy-to-read type, with clickable chapters
- Every future edition free
Nobody ever wrote this down. So I did.
I've lived my whole life on a farm, and there's never been a day on it without cats. The first cat I ever called mine was a tortoiseshell named Molly, and she taught me the most important thing I know about cats.
Most of what I know I learned by watching, and some of it I learned the hard way. I don't want you to have to do that with your cat. Now, I'm no vet, and I'll tell you plainly when it's time to call one. But everything the barn cats taught me is in here, plain and simple, the way we do it on the farm.
If you only read one part this week, make it the Poison Walk-Through.
— Betty
Patch — my old black-and-white tom, nearly 17. Climbs onto my chest at bedtime.
Rusty — big orange tom. Friendliest cat on the farm and my best mouser.
Ivy — my calico queen. Doesn't do cuddles, and runs the whole barn.
Smudge — smoky gray girl who came to us half wild. Slow blinks won her over.
Pepper — my young black cat, with more energy than sense.
Old Molly — the little tortoiseshell, the first cat I ever called mine.
Tom — big gray tabby, the best-natured cat we ever had. His story is in Part V.
142 Chapters. Eleven Parts. Organized for the Night You Need Them.
Read it front to back, or jump straight to what's happening tonight. The Problem Finder at the back sends you to the right page for about 100 everyday problems.
What Your Cat Is Telling You
- Why Barn Cats Hardly Ever Meow
- The Night Walk Across Your Chest
- The Bathroom Escort
- The Tail Dictionary
- When a Habit Suddenly Changes
Every sound, look and odd habit, finally explained.
Love, Trust & Choosing You
- The Quiet Signs She Loves You
- The Tests Before She Picks Her Person
- Why She Snubs Some Folks
- How Half-Wild Cats Love
- The Shy Cat's First Week
How a cat decides who's hers, and how to be that person.
Coat, Color & Character
- Orange Cats Run the Barn
- What Farmers Say About Black Cats
- The Tuxedo Brain
- Calico Temper, Tortie Sass
- Tomcats vs. Girl Cats
Old farm lore about which cat is which.
What Your Cat Needs From You
- What Farm Cats Get That House Cats Don't
- 17 Mistakes Farm Folks Never Make
- Habits That Hurt Her Feelings
- Should She Sleep in Your Bed?
- Is She Happy? A Quick Barn Check
The everyday life that keeps a house cat happy.
The Poison Walk-Through
- What Happened to Tom
- The Garage Shelf
- The Dog Flea Drops You Must Never Use
- “Natural” Doesn't Mean Cat-Safe
- The First Hour After She Eats Something
Room by room, the everyday things that can kill a cat, and what to use instead.
Fleas, Ticks & Biting Bugs
- The White Towel Test
- Fleas Live in the Carpet
- The Drop-of-Soap Flea Trap
- Read the Label: Cat or Dog?
- Getting a Tick Off the Farm Way
Clearing out the bugs without putting her at risk.
Roaches, Snakes & Other Visitors
- The Before-You-Spray Rule
- Why Your Cat Eats Cockroaches
- Ants in the Food Bowl
- Keep Snakes Out of the Yard
- When Your Cat Meets a Snake
Every crawling visitor, handled without harming her.
Mice, Rats & the Mouser Cat
- Never Put Out Mouse Poison
- Your Cat Knew About the Mice First
- The Dead Mouse on the Doorstep
- Turning a Couch Cat Into a Hunter
- The $5 Mouse-Proof House
The barn cat's real job, and how to do it safely.
The Farmhouse Kitchen
- Kitchen Foods Farm Cats Thrived On
- The Deadly Five
- The Coat-Shine Spoonful
- Getting a Cat to Drink More
- Feeding Well on a Budget
What goes in the bowl, the farm way.
The $5 Farmhouse
- The $5 Litter
- The Stick-and-Shoelace Wand
- The $5 Couch Saver
- Grow Your Own Cat Grass
- Spend Here, Save There
Everything a cat loves, made from what you already own.
Through the Years
- The Kitten's First Year
- A Rescue's First Month
- Making the House Easy for an Old Cat
- Slowing Down, or Something Wrong?
- The Empty Spot by the Fire
A cat's whole life, from the first night to the last.
13 Fridge Cards & the Problem Finder
- Room-by-Room Poison List
- Safe & Deadly Foods
- What That Tail Means
- When to Call the Vet
- …and 9 more, ready to print
Stick them on the fridge. Find any problem in seconds.
A real page from every part
Tap any page to enlarge it, then slide through them all.
The store way, and the barn way
A new gadget for every problem.
Guessing what her habits mean.
Finding out what's poison after she's eaten it.
Thinking "she's just getting old."
Make it from what's already in the house.
Read her like a barn woman reads her cats.
Walk the house room by room before trouble comes.
Know which changes are age, and which are something wrong.
Questions folks ask
What format is it? Can I print it?+
A standard PDF. It reads on a phone, a tablet, or a computer, and it prints on plain paper. The bonus cards are made to be printed and stuck on the fridge.
How do I get it after I pay?+
Right away. The download lands in your email within a minute, through Gumroad's checkout. Nothing ships, nothing to wait for. If it doesn't arrive, check your spam folder, then email me at barncatbetty@icloud.com and I'll send it to you there.
Is the type big enough to read comfortably?+
Yes. It's set in a comfortable, easy-to-read size, and on a phone or tablet you can zoom in as much as you like.
Are you a vet?+
No. I'm a barn woman who's had cats underfoot my whole life. The manual is everyday know-how, and when something needs a vet, I say so plainly.
My cat lives indoors. Is it still for me?+
Yes. The barn is where I learned it, but the manual is written for ordinary house-cat owners.
Is this a subscription?+
No. One payment and it's yours, including every future edition free.
What's the refund policy?+
Fourteen days, no questions asked. Email me at barncatbetty@icloud.com within two weeks of purchasing and you get your money back.
Write to me
Questions about the manual, trouble with your download, or a refund? Send me a note and I'll get back to you.
barncatbetty@icloud.comYour cat's been trying to tell you something.
Now you'll know what it is. 366 pages, 142 chapters and 13 fridge cards, everything the barn cats taught me, in one manual you can open tonight.
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